


take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Eloping, M/M, Meddlesome Mothers, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: Sonny and Rafael try to include their mothers in the wedding planning, but it all gets to be a bit too much.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 70
Collections: Marriage Barisi Bingo





	take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a better version of post-canon where Barba has left the DA's/politics and is teaching.
> 
> Also, I learned a lot about the history of the heart-shaped bathtub for this fic and let me tell you, it's kind of fascinating.

“Sonny!” Rafael’s voice is high-pitched, frantic. Sonny runs down the hallway and bursts into Raf’s home office, expecting to find blood, or maybe a giant insect in need of removal.

What he sees instead is Rafael sitting at his desk, his laptop open. The screen is covered in…Sonny squints.

“Are those pumpkins?”

“Hollowed out and used as vases, yes.” Rafael’s got one palm splayed over his face, but he is peering at the screen through his fingers.

“Why?”

“Because,” Rafael sighs and closes the window to show Sonny his email inbox. “Your mother has decided we’re having a fall wedding.”

Raf’s inbox is one long scroll of emails from Tessa Carisi, subject lines full of exclamation points and Pinterest links. Sonny winces. He is afraid to open his own inbox, knowing he’ll have been CC’d on every one of the emails. He tries to remember what his sisters had done to distract their mother when they were all planning weddings.

“Maybe we just need to give her a specific project. One she can really do all the work on, and not think about the rest of it.” He suggests.

Rafael nods slowly. “That could work. We’d need one for my mother as well, then. She’ll feel slighted if Tessa gets a project and she doesn’t.”

Sonny is confused. “I thought Lucia didn’t want to be that involved with the planning.”

Rafael gives him a withering look. “She said that, she didn’t mean it. I’m her only child. She’s probably drafting her own emails as we speak.”

As if conjured by his words, his laptop dings with a new email notification and he sees his mother’s name. It’s only the one, but there are at least a dozen attachments with it. He palms his face again and groans.

“I’ll make fresh coffee,” Sonny rushes out of the room, anxious to caffeinate his fiancé before either of them tries to tackle the problem that is their mothers and wedding planning.

When he returns with the coffee, Rafael has moved from his desk to the couch. His laptop is open on the coffee table and there is a yellow legal pad next to it. He looks up at Sonny and scowls.

“Alright, what’s the what?” Sonny asks, handing Raf a large steaming mug of coffee sprinkled liberally with cardamom. He takes it gratefully and swigs a burning mouthful.

“I thought we’d go through your mom’s ideas first, and write down any that we actually like.” He nods to the notepad. “Only, I’ve been skimming her goddamn Pinterest boards for ten minutes and they are all singularly awful.”

Sonny sits next to him and pulls the laptop onto his knees. He begins scrolling and Rafael’s not wrong. She’s unilaterally declared an autumnal theme, and there are a lot of reds and browns and oranges, and Sonny thinks whoever has this wedding would undoubtedly have a beautiful affair and he hopes he gets invited, but it’s not even remotely suited to him and Rafael. A thought occurs to him as he looks at gourd centrepieces and maple boutonnieres.

“You’re allergic to ragweed.” He states, as if Rafael might not know this about himself. “My mother wants us to have a fall foliage festooned wedding in peak ragweed season.”

“Yes, I had noticed that.” Rafael says dryly.

They continue to look, but nothing about Tessa Carisi’s aesthetic appeals to either of them.

“She knows we haven’t set a date yet, right?” Rafael asks him, as they read an email where she’s talking about weather forecasts and the pros and cons of a Saturday versus Sunday ceremony.

“I told her, yeah. I said we were thinkin’ in the next year, but that’s about it. Honestly, I was thinkin’ early spring would be nice. Just when the cherry trees start to blossom?”

Raf nods. “Cherry blossom pink would be a good colour to base our scheme off of. It suits both of us.”

Sonny beams at him, his own rosy pink cheeks dimpling as he smiles.

The email from Lucia Barba is not much better, although it is focused more on guest lists then anything else.

“I didn’t know you had this many cousins.” Sonny looks over Raf’s shoulder as he scrolls down a word document with names and addresses of people Lucia expects to be invited.

“Neither did I.” Rafael says, his eyes growing wider as the document keeps going with seemingly no end in sight. “I have no idea who most of these people are.”

“Guest rule number one,” Sonny solemnly states. “Everyone has to be someone at least one of us knows personally.”

Rafael agrees wholeheartedly.

“This’ll be the smallest Italian wedding Staten Island’s ever seen.” Sonny jokes.

When every email’s been looked at, their list of acceptable maternally induced matrimonial ideas is still blank.

“Okay, we knew that would probably happen.” Sonny says as Rafael tosses back the last dregs of his coffee and looks mournfully into the empty cup. “So let’s think about what we could have them do instead. Somethin’ they can really sink their teeth into that we don’t care about as much. What about flowers?”

Rafael shakes his head. “I don’t know that I trust your mother to keep my allergies in mind, and mami still thinks plastic plants add a touch of class to a room.”

“Photographer?”

“Sonny, your mother still drags all of her grown children to Sears once a year for a family portrait.”

“So we’ll give that to Lucia, then.”

Rafael considers it. His mother has a good eye for natural talent, and he thinks he can trust her to choose a photographer whose portfolio suits them.

“That would be acceptable. What about the cake, for your mom? She must know a few places we could check out.”

The look Sonny gives him is one he generally reserves for hearing unbelievable testimony. “No way, I’ve known what kind of cake I wanted to make for my wedding since I was fifteen.”

“Do I get a say in it?” Rafael asks, curiously. He’s not too picky with his desserts, and he knows Sonny would never make something he actively dislikes.

“I’ll let you choose what kind of icing.” Sonny says graciously, planting a loud smacking kiss on Raf’s cheek with a grin.

“Oh, thank you ever so much. Okay, what about the invitations?”

Sonny arches an eyebrow at him. “Really? She does her annual Christmas newsletter in Papyrus entirely because the baby Jesus went to Egypt.”

They both grimace at that.

“What about the rehearsal dinner? That’s not really a big deal for us, right? We can let ma choose the restaurant and tells us all where to sit?”

“That sounds like every brunch outing with your family.”

“Exactly! So we already know what to expect.”

Rafael shrugs. “Okay, sure. Photographer for mami and rehearsal dinner for Tessa. Problem solved.”

* * *

The problem is very much not solved, thinks Rafael, ice clicking against his teeth as he swigs his scotch aggressively.

“Hey Rafi, what’s with the big stack of papers on the kitchen counter? It’s too early for our lease renewal, isn’t it?”

Rafael turns from the sink and glares at the aforementioned papers, as if he could maybe set them on fire with his mind if he tried hard enough.

“That would be the _edited_ guest lists from our mothers. Featuring, so they both claim, only friends and relations we actually know.”

Sonny looks doubtfully at the thick sheath of paper. “I’m not sure I know that many people in my life.” He picks it up and starts skimming through it. “Aww jeez, really? Ma wants me to invite Gina Linetti?!”

“Who’s Gina Linetti?” Raf asks.

“She was my date to junior prom! I haven’t seen her since graduation!”

“Yes, well, mami wants me to invite Alex and Yelina Muñoz, so I think I win.”

Sonny snorts. “Right, I bet attending the wedding of the guy he thinks sold ‘im out is really high on Muñoz’s to-do list.”

Rafael slams his glass down in the sink. “That’s not the point, and you fucking well know it. She’s doing it, again. She always does it. She’s trying to manipulate my personal life for what _she_ thinks my political life needs. She still can’t accept that I’m never returning to that world.”

Sonny steps up behind his fiancé, placing his hands on the counter on either side of Rafael’s hips. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck.

“I get it, Rafi, and I’m sorry I was flippant. We can shred the entire list, both of ‘em. New guest rule, no one there we don’t know AND enjoy the company of.”

“That would also eliminate most of your extended family.”

Rafael can feel Sonny shrug behind him. “Gotta be honest babe, that’s alright with me.”

Rafael takes a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.

“What if we didn’t have a guest list?” He asks, aiming for a casual tone and missing by a mile.

“What’d’you mean?”

Rafael turns in Sonny’s embrace, facing him. Their eyes meet, Rafael’s tired and a little bit frantic, Sonny’s curious and understanding.

“What if we didn’t have a big wedding, here in the city? We haven’t booked the venue yet, and we’ve only put a couple of deposits down, I bet I could get them refunded.” He’s talking fast, trying to get his points made before Sonny raises an objection, but Sonny just listens quietly, not interrupting.

When he finishes, he’s not expecting what comes out of Sonny’s mouth.

“What about the Poconos?”

Rafael blinks. “What about them?”

Sonny shrugs. “Beautiful mountains, resorts with heart-shaped bathtubs, honeymoon capital of the world if their advertising is to be believed.”

Rafael cocks his head, thinking. “Are you suggesting we elope to the honeymoon capital of the world?”

“Well, it’d save us on a second trip after the wedding.”

He tilts his head up, silently demanding a kiss from Sonny, who acquiesces, leaning down to press his lips gently against Raf’s, his tongue running along Raf’s lower lip. The kiss deepens as Sonny licks the taste of scotch out of Rafael’s mouth and then pulls away to whisper in his ear.

“You’ve got a long weekend and Hadid owes me a couple days of vacation. I can have a bag packed in an hour.” Sonny punctuates the idea with a slow undulating press of his body against Rafael’s.

“Keep that up and we won’t get out of here anytime soon, counsellor.” Rafael gasps.

Sonny steps away from him and Rafael pouts as the warmth of Sonny’s body is taken from him. Sonny wags a finger.

“None of that, come on, we gotta elopement to get to!”

Raf packs weekenders for the two of them while Sonny books them a room at a resort that promises not only heart-shaped bathtubs, but a round bed with mirrored ceiling above. It’s hideously tacky and Sonny loves it the minute he opens the website.

“You know our mothers will probably disown us for this.” Rafael says when they’re in the car and merging off the I-95 onto the I-80.

“Yeah, probably.” Sonny agrees, fingers tapping on the steering wheel. “Might be worth it, though.” He reaches for Rafael’s hand, eyes never leaving the road. He brings it to his lips, kissing Rafael’s ring finger, where his engagement band sits. “I got all I need to get married right here.”


End file.
